8 Self Defeating Habits That You Must Let Go In Order To Thrive In Your Coaching Business

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I remember vividly when the miracle of clarity and insight dropped in around my wealth and prosperity. It was a slow dawning, I grant you, but when I finally got it? It felt like a thunderbolt!

I realised that in order to be successful, and to thrive and flourish as the peacefully powerful woman I wanted to become I needed to treat myself, behave and act as if I already were her… #facepalm

I know! I know! This is ‘old news’ and even though I had conceptually understood this for years, I realised that I hadn’t been acting on that knowledge.

Which kind of sums up many of our challenges. We know this stuff but we all too often fail to act on what we know!

This personal experiential breakthrough opened my eyes to all the ways that I, and many of my clients, were unknowingly blocking the flow. And as we did the work to let go, magic and miracles followed!

These are 8 of the most common self-defeating and destructive habits that I see time and again, that you must let go of in order to unblock the flow, so you can thrive and flourish:

  1. Weak boundaries:

Not easy for the people pleaser part of you, but having weak boundaries means you’re likely to be over promising and over committing and leaving yourself exhausted.

Weak boundaries also means you’re afraid to say no to people, fearful of upsetting others and meeting with disapproval, rejection and judgement (“who does she think she is!” bla bla bla). Your nervous system, whether you’re aware of it or not, is in survival mode, trying to manage situations so you stay safe.

That is the frequency that is creating your reality and therefore blocking your flow.

Practice saying no, with love and respect, both for yourself and for others. Teach people how you want to be treated.

2. Overwhelm and feeling ‘too busy’:

Feeling overwhelmed and complaining about being too busy just attracts more overwhelm and busy-ness.
This blocks your flow as you’re unwittingly putting out a message that you don’t have time for fun, or for more clients!
It’s all too easy to lose focus and perpetuate the state of overwhelm. What if you tried on a new belief such as “overwhelm is an illusion”? You get to choose your beliefs – there are no absolutes!

3. Imposter syndrome:

Yikes!! Never feeling good enough and constantly operating at the level of the perfectionist is self defeating.
Whenever you’re taking action, be present fully and focus on that one activity. This is how you bring your higher self to every thing you do, and thus opens up your channels of creatively, resourcefulness and inspiration.

4. Frequently burning the candle at both ends.

Seriously, there’s no virtue in struggle! Too many of us learned that we get validation and approval through hard work and struggle. It’s a powerful conditioning and it’s also a saboteur that I’m very familiar with – the Hyper Achiever.

This blocks your flow because it’s very likely to be a behaviourial manifestation of a deeper belief steeped in a sense of lack, unworthiness and not good enough.

Develop some practices for self love, self healing and self compassion so you can open up the flow and operate at your optimum from a place of joy and inspiration.

5. Poor diet.

I was guilty of grazing on nothing but tea and biscuits during the work day and I even used to resent having to stop work and “waste time” cooking dinner in the evenings!  Sometimes, the fridge would be empty because I was so focused on my business that I failed to go grocery shopping. As a single mother, this just added to my mom-guilt!
It wasn’t until I talked about this with my homeopath and she gave me a shifted perspective that I realised how much my diet and my view of food was blocking my flow.
Nourish your body and put your health and well being as a priority – after all, without your health, you won’t be able to run your business.  Focus on abundance in health and well being and fuel yourself with beautiful foods that provide optimum benefits nutritionally speaking.


Comparing yourself to others unfavourably is a major block to your flow of creativity, prosperity and well being.  It’s a form of judgment and it’s holding you in a place of “I’m not enough” leaving you feeling lacking and inadequate.

Appreciate where you are, knowing that everyone’s journey is different. You are unique with your own learning curve to traverse. Love it, embrace it, own it!

7. Procrastination.

In and of itself, procrastination is not the problem. Its an outcome. Think cause and effect.
Procrastination is a self-sabotaging result of some fear and limiting beliefs and over time it destroys your self esteem. If the fear and limiting beliefs don’t block your flow, the beating yourself up daily for procrastinating certainly will!
Focus on your bigger purpose and just start taking baby steps today.
Set a timer for just 15 minutes and take action on that thing you’re putting off then celebrate wildly. Reward yourself and then repeat.
Rewarding yourself is so important for creating new neural associations to taking action.

8. Giving reasons instead of results.

Ouch!! How often do you give reasons for not taking action or following through, instead of getting results for yourself and your business?
Reasons are excuses!! You want results.
If you have a reason for not doing something that is important to you and that moves you forward in the direction of your grander vision, then find someone who accomplished greatness in spite of a debilitating life situation. This will help you let go of your reasons.

Are you ready to let go of these habits in order to open the flow so you can truly thrive and flourish?




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