Finding Your True Tribe will Change Your Life

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I was about to open this blog with a qualifying statement, something like “Eurgh! The word “Tribe” is over-used in the personal development industry and could be considered trite…”

BUT just as I thought that I immediately received another thought that felt way better.

The better feeling thought was that the word tribe is historic, ancestral and pre-dates all the personal development stuff that we immerse ourselves in today.

“Tribe” is inherent. Tribe equals survival and Tribe equals evolution and growth.

We thrive in our tribe because our tribe makes us feel safe.

I am inspired to write this blog because I’m flying high right now. I feel so connected and yet grounded. I feel mindful and peaceful. I actually feel so happy, I could cry (no word of a lie!)


Because I’ve just spent 2 weeks immersed in and with my True Tribe and an internal shift has occurred.

Let me explain.

I have just spent 2 glorious weeks with an old school friend who now lives in Cape Town. She invited me on the basis that she wanted me to work with her as her Coach and Mentor to get her business idea off the ground.

We would combine working together with plenty of pleasure and leisure! She also helped me organise an event for the local Cape Town Coaches which was a wonderful experience.

We’ve only seen each other a small handful of times in the past 10 years since she moved abroad and she is busy raising 3 beautiful children full time.

Since my children are older and a lot more independent and my focus is my business we actually lead very different lives. That said, I never had any concerns as to how we’d “get on”.

In fact, it didn’t cross my mind, I was just excited to spend time with her and work with her.

And so it was.

We had a glorious time together, immersed in one another’s energy, radiating love and respect for each other and I never felt remotely exhausted even with all our talking (as an introvert, this is strange and unfamiliar territory for me!)

We talked about Mindset, Personal Growth, Energy, Law of Attraction, Business and Marketing 90% of the time!! Even as we hiked up Table Mountain and Signal Hill we were engrossed in our mind-expanding conversations

So let’s just say it was a beautiful experience.

Fast forward to now and I’m home and I’m floating about and I feel different. In a really good way.

I was about to send my friend a Whatsapp of my breakfast plate – a healthy selection of cut vegetables, hummus and nuts with a message saying “You’ve changed my life!! [smiley emoji]” when it struck me that something has indeed changed – I feel differently but it’s not because of my breakfast!

(FYI: My friend is qualified in nutritional therapy and knows stuff that blew my mind so naturally, I sucked as much information from her as I could during those 2 weeks!)

As I wondered what it was that was changed within me, I was struck by the thought “I was with my true tribe” and that’s when the tears began to roll #happytears

When we were together we were unashamedly real and authentic – consistently for the whole time!!

We weren’t people-pleasing, but we were being pleasing without any diminishing of our own individual desires.

The mutual respect, love, and appreciation of one another was magnified because we felt safe to radiate what we felt for ourselves, because, as I said, we were being completely real and authentic.

There were no pronouncements of this. We were just being. Talking, laughing, crying.

I’ve had moments like this during weekends away with my “business-besties” – we’ve laughed until the tears are rolling and without pausing for breath we’re deep-diving into each other’s stories. There’s no feeling that compares! It’s so joyous and it really comes down to the inherent safety of being able to be filter-free and authentic.

I’m talking too about being real, honest and often brutal with one another – so this is no Pollyanna speak!  Being strong and grounded enough to actually have an honest discourse and say things that we know might not be what that other wants to hear but that will be for their highest good.  I’ve been in too many relationships in which both parties were walking on egg-shells, too afraid to say what was really in our hearts.

I used to suffer with remorse and paranoia. I’d be enjoying myself with people and then I’d wake up in the night worrying about whether I’d been “too much” or wishing I hadn’t said “this or that”. It was an awful and insecure way to be.

You never feel like that when you’re with your true tribe. You feel utterly safe.

It doesn’t matter whether your true tribe is 1 or many. But it matters that you find it.

It will change your life because when you feel inherently safe, you become more self-assured, more self trusting and more connected to the highest and best version of you.

And when you’re operating from that place, the world reflects that back to you in every way.

Now you might argue that this is a conditional way to live.  That we should be able to feel real, authentic and safe for ourselves first and of course, that’s true.  But we’re also connection creatures.  We can do the work on ourselves for sure, but we road test that inner work every day when we interact with others.

Your Tribe will help you feel inherently safe as you peel back the layers of the onion to feel truly at peace with yourself, to feel truly worthy and deserving and truly alive.

This particular time has been the most profound I believe because it was a total immersion for 14 days rather than a precious, yet scant few days.

So thank you to my darling friend who has shown me how it feels to be one with my True Tribe and one with myself.

I love you,  Sanae x


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